A Day of remembrance

I can't believe that it has been five years since the event that has changed the lives of so many. I remember where I was. I was driving to Florida International University - North Campus to my Comparative Sociology class. There was some commotion on the radio about a plane crash, but it was impossible to understand what the radio DJs were talking about. I tried calling my mom on the cell phone, but the phone was busy. I tried several times and nothing. Silence overcame the campus where groups of people usually loitered in the hallways or in front of the library. It was odd, but I still made my way to class. In class, a student asked the professor to turn on the television to watch the news as another student walked out of the classroom clutching her phone in her hand. The professor declined the student's request and proceeded with his lecture. It wasn't clear to me what was happening as I sat there trying to take notes and pay attention to the professor. I didn't get it until I got home and saw the images on the television. There was no way to understand what was going on until watching it. I couldn't believe what I was watching and how something like that could happen in the United States. Yes, I was naive, feeling like my students, that we (Americans) were invisible to the world and immune to outside attacks, until that day. Then I got worried and concerned about family members in New York. I was one of the lucky ones that didnÂ’t have anyone I knew perish in the event, but unlucky because my ignorancee and naivete was eliminated. I was left with fear and sadness because of everything that happened.

I'm no longer consumed with fear or an immense amount of sadness. I do feel for those that lost loved ones and maintain them in prayer, which is all I can do, but will not allow anyone to force me to live in fear because of where I was born and where I live.

9/11/01 I will never forget.

It Finally Dawned On Me That I'm Getting Married

I tried on my wedding dress for the first time Saturday afternoon. I must admit I got choked up and couldn't believe it when I saw it on me. I didn't want to start crying as I looked at my reflection in the mirror clearing my throat to lodge the knot I created by holding back the tears. The helpful store assistant smiled, looking back at me, zipping me up in this dress that I waited two months for. I got engaged last October and it truly hasn't dawned on me that the wedding is approaching and that I will be married. I will be married. I have to repeat it to myself because I thought for many years I would be the unmarried chica, while my younger sister was the one married with children. I was the one who would do all the things my sister longed to do, like going on road trips with my girlfriends, traveling at the drop of a hat, living carefree and independent, while she gave birth to adoring children and kept a house together for her husband and family.

Now it is my turn. The tears collect themselves in my throat as I walk out of the fitting room to show my grandmother, mom, sister, my nephew and four-month old niece. My sister's eyes lit up as my grandmother smiled at me holding her four-month old great-granddaughter. There weren't any words spoken for a few moments until my five-year-old nephew yelled "Titi, you look beautiful!" forcing me to laugh to mask the shakiness in my voice as I thanked him. I stepped on the platform, looking at the delicate and intricate details of my dress, listening to the praises the dress evoked from the other people in the store, and imagined the reaction fiance would have on our wedding day.

My sister leans in and whispers "I told you." She told me that it would happen for me, that I would find the one and get married. My mom told me the same thing, but I didn't believe her. I didn't believe either one of them because I was labeled the independent, free-wheeling daughter for so many years that it seemed like finding the one was never going to happen. Nevertheless, it did happen and I will be married in three short months.