I can't believe that it has been five years since the event that has changed the lives of so many. I remember where I was. I was driving to Florida International University - North Campus to my Comparative Sociology class. There was some commotion on the radio about a plane crash, but it was impossible to understand what the radio DJs were talking about. I tried calling my mom on the cell phone, but the phone was busy. I tried several times and nothing. Silence overcame the campus where groups of people usually loitered in the hallways or in front of the library. It was odd, but I still made my way to class. In class, a student asked the professor to turn on the television to watch the news as another student walked out of the classroom clutching her phone in her hand. The professor declined the student's request and proceeded with his lecture. It wasn't clear to me what was happening as I sat there trying to take notes and pay attention to the professor. I didn't get it until I got home and saw the images on the television. There was no way to understand what was going on until watching it. I couldn't believe what I was watching and how something like that could happen in the United States. Yes, I was naive, feeling like my students, that we (Americans) were invisible to the world and immune to outside attacks, until that day. Then I got worried and concerned about family members in New York. I was one of the lucky ones that didnÂ’t have anyone I knew perish in the event, but unlucky because my ignorancee and naivete was eliminated. I was left with fear and sadness because of everything that happened.
I'm no longer consumed with fear or an immense amount of sadness. I do feel for those that lost loved ones and maintain them in prayer, which is all I can do, but will not allow anyone to force me to live in fear because of where I was born and where I live.
9/11/01 I will never forget.
Monday, September 11, 2006
It Finally Dawned On Me That I'm Getting Married
I tried on my wedding dress for the first time Saturday afternoon. I must admit I got choked up and couldn't believe it when I saw it on me. I didn't want to start crying as I looked at my reflection in the mirror clearing my throat to lodge the knot I created by holding back the tears. The helpful store assistant smiled, looking back at me, zipping me up in this dress that I waited two months for. I got engaged last October and it truly hasn't dawned on me that the wedding is approaching and that I will be married. I will be married. I have to repeat it to myself because I thought for many years I would be the unmarried chica, while my younger sister was the one married with children. I was the one who would do all the things my sister longed to do, like going on road trips with my girlfriends, traveling at the drop of a hat, living carefree and independent, while she gave birth to adoring children and kept a house together for her husband and family.
Now it is my turn. The tears collect themselves in my throat as I walk out of the fitting room to show my grandmother, mom, sister, my nephew and four-month old niece. My sister's eyes lit up as my grandmother smiled at me holding her four-month old great-granddaughter. There weren't any words spoken for a few moments until my five-year-old nephew yelled "Titi, you look beautiful!" forcing me to laugh to mask the shakiness in my voice as I thanked him. I stepped on the platform, looking at the delicate and intricate details of my dress, listening to the praises the dress evoked from the other people in the store, and imagined the reaction fiance would have on our wedding day.
My sister leans in and whispers "I told you." She told me that it would happen for me, that I would find the one and get married. My mom told me the same thing, but I didn't believe her. I didn't believe either one of them because I was labeled the independent, free-wheeling daughter for so many years that it seemed like finding the one was never going to happen. Nevertheless, it did happen and I will be married in three short months.
Now it is my turn. The tears collect themselves in my throat as I walk out of the fitting room to show my grandmother, mom, sister, my nephew and four-month old niece. My sister's eyes lit up as my grandmother smiled at me holding her four-month old great-granddaughter. There weren't any words spoken for a few moments until my five-year-old nephew yelled "Titi, you look beautiful!" forcing me to laugh to mask the shakiness in my voice as I thanked him. I stepped on the platform, looking at the delicate and intricate details of my dress, listening to the praises the dress evoked from the other people in the store, and imagined the reaction fiance would have on our wedding day.
My sister leans in and whispers "I told you." She told me that it would happen for me, that I would find the one and get married. My mom told me the same thing, but I didn't believe her. I didn't believe either one of them because I was labeled the independent, free-wheeling daughter for so many years that it seemed like finding the one was never going to happen. Nevertheless, it did happen and I will be married in three short months.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Summer Vacation ?!?!
What happened to the summer? I know some of you are thinking that technically it is still summer, but when I start to see Back-to-school sales and tax free week, I start to panic. It feels like school let out a couple of weeks ago, and here we are getting ready to start again! I always get a little anxious around this time of year because it means learning 150 names, planning lessons and grading stacks (AND stacks) of assignments. Nevertheless, it has been an eventful summer, which I haven’t blogged about because I’ve been too busy enjoying it. I promise to at least blog once a week, unless it’s a hectic week, then it will probably be once every two weeks.
Now, let me quickly run down the number of things I did this summer….
Wedding Planning
I found THE wedding dress after searching up and down Ft. Lauderdale and Miami. Funny thing is that I found it at the store closest to my house! Doesn’t it always happen that way? You search and search for something and its right under your nose. It’s just like how I met my fiancé. I had been dating guys who lived 30 to 45 minutes away from my house, and even had a long distance relationship with a man in New York. When my fiancé answered my ad on Match, I had no idea where he lived until after our first date. I knew from the beginning that he was the one and he only lived three blocks away. I’m a firm believer that you have to stop looking in order to find something. When you stop stressing about finding the guy or dress, anything that you are looking for, it will come to you in the most unexpected way.
More on the wedding plans…I still haven’t hired a photographer, but have the videographer. The ceremony and reception locations have been booked, but the time isn’t exactly set. The cake has been chosen. The flowers – still can’t decide exactly what I want and the wedding favors have started production on Mom’s dining room table. I also found out that my cousin, who happens to be a bridesmaid, won’t be able to attend the wedding, which leaves me with a groomsman with no companion. I’m not sure who to ask to be a bridesmaid now? I was keeping it simple by asking just family and one close friend. Now, I have a slot that is open and a tough decision to make, which is hard enough on a Libra who can’t make decisions as it is. Oh, well! I promised myself that I wouldn’t stress and I’m not! (I say breathing deeply, finding that calm place…)
Writing
After the Chica Lit Conference in May, I became inspired to write, from journaling, short stories, blogging to beginning one of the many novels stuck in my head. I have a dozen ideas and feel sometimes that I have A.D.D. because I can’t focus on one story when ideas for other stories are constantly coming up. Attending the conference was enlightening and inspiring. I don’t think I would have written as much as I did this summer without the push my fellow Latina writers gave me. I figured if I got one short story out, I’d be happy. Well, I shocked myself! I was able to get two short stories, a personal essay, and the beginning of a novel out, along with reading numerous books on writing. I’ve read The Artist’s Way, Writing Down the Bones, Gotham’s Writing Fiction, and Stephen King’s On Writing, which have been extremely helpful and inspiring to continue following my dream of being a published writer. I’ve even submitted to several contests and will let you know if I placed.
I also joined an extremely supportive and positive writer’s group, who help me abate my fears of presenting my work. Through this group, we have started The Society of Latino and Hispanic Writers – Miami Chapter. It is thrilling and exciting to see such a progressive and inspiring group of people have the same love of writing, and reading, as I do. I was even nominated Vice President of the Miami Chapter and am ecstatic about all the wonderful things we are going to do in the writing community. We are having literary events, writer workshops, and reading groups. If you are in the Miami area and would like to receive more information, please contact me through my blog or the website.
Spring Cleaning?
Yes, I know that its Summer and not Spring, but this is when I do my spring cleaning. I start organizing and chucking unnecessary things like magazines I don’t want anymore. Since moving in with my fiancé, I have had to purge some of my things, like my books. I know what you are thinking. Blasphemy! I thought the same thing, but when I saw that he was getting rid of things to make room for me, I decided that it was time to donate those books (or take them to school with me to use in the classroom) to have a comfortable living area. Having…eh, should I even confess how many books I have? Ok, I will! Having about three hundred books in a two-bedroom condo is ridiculous. I told myself that I could make it work, and even convinced him, until I tried to fit them all on the shelves (and coffee table, end tables, under the bathroom cabinet in both bathrooms). I had even hid some books under the bed in the spare bedroom. Yes, my name is Tennille and I am a Bookaholoic! After loss of sleep and lack of space, I decided to cut down my collection by half to have more space in the house. Now, I just have to stop myself from going to Barnes and Nobles, Books and Books, and hitting the “Proceed to Checkout” button on Amazon.com.
So, this was my summer vacation. I guess this is how my students must feel when I tell them to write an essay on what they did during the summer. I’m such a nerd! I completed my very own assignment. LOL.
Now, let me quickly run down the number of things I did this summer….
Wedding Planning
I found THE wedding dress after searching up and down Ft. Lauderdale and Miami. Funny thing is that I found it at the store closest to my house! Doesn’t it always happen that way? You search and search for something and its right under your nose. It’s just like how I met my fiancé. I had been dating guys who lived 30 to 45 minutes away from my house, and even had a long distance relationship with a man in New York. When my fiancé answered my ad on Match, I had no idea where he lived until after our first date. I knew from the beginning that he was the one and he only lived three blocks away. I’m a firm believer that you have to stop looking in order to find something. When you stop stressing about finding the guy or dress, anything that you are looking for, it will come to you in the most unexpected way.
More on the wedding plans…I still haven’t hired a photographer, but have the videographer. The ceremony and reception locations have been booked, but the time isn’t exactly set. The cake has been chosen. The flowers – still can’t decide exactly what I want and the wedding favors have started production on Mom’s dining room table. I also found out that my cousin, who happens to be a bridesmaid, won’t be able to attend the wedding, which leaves me with a groomsman with no companion. I’m not sure who to ask to be a bridesmaid now? I was keeping it simple by asking just family and one close friend. Now, I have a slot that is open and a tough decision to make, which is hard enough on a Libra who can’t make decisions as it is. Oh, well! I promised myself that I wouldn’t stress and I’m not! (I say breathing deeply, finding that calm place…)
Writing
After the Chica Lit Conference in May, I became inspired to write, from journaling, short stories, blogging to beginning one of the many novels stuck in my head. I have a dozen ideas and feel sometimes that I have A.D.D. because I can’t focus on one story when ideas for other stories are constantly coming up. Attending the conference was enlightening and inspiring. I don’t think I would have written as much as I did this summer without the push my fellow Latina writers gave me. I figured if I got one short story out, I’d be happy. Well, I shocked myself! I was able to get two short stories, a personal essay, and the beginning of a novel out, along with reading numerous books on writing. I’ve read The Artist’s Way, Writing Down the Bones, Gotham’s Writing Fiction, and Stephen King’s On Writing, which have been extremely helpful and inspiring to continue following my dream of being a published writer. I’ve even submitted to several contests and will let you know if I placed.
I also joined an extremely supportive and positive writer’s group, who help me abate my fears of presenting my work. Through this group, we have started The Society of Latino and Hispanic Writers – Miami Chapter. It is thrilling and exciting to see such a progressive and inspiring group of people have the same love of writing, and reading, as I do. I was even nominated Vice President of the Miami Chapter and am ecstatic about all the wonderful things we are going to do in the writing community. We are having literary events, writer workshops, and reading groups. If you are in the Miami area and would like to receive more information, please contact me through my blog or the website.
Spring Cleaning?
Yes, I know that its Summer and not Spring, but this is when I do my spring cleaning. I start organizing and chucking unnecessary things like magazines I don’t want anymore. Since moving in with my fiancé, I have had to purge some of my things, like my books. I know what you are thinking. Blasphemy! I thought the same thing, but when I saw that he was getting rid of things to make room for me, I decided that it was time to donate those books (or take them to school with me to use in the classroom) to have a comfortable living area. Having…eh, should I even confess how many books I have? Ok, I will! Having about three hundred books in a two-bedroom condo is ridiculous. I told myself that I could make it work, and even convinced him, until I tried to fit them all on the shelves (and coffee table, end tables, under the bathroom cabinet in both bathrooms). I had even hid some books under the bed in the spare bedroom. Yes, my name is Tennille and I am a Bookaholoic! After loss of sleep and lack of space, I decided to cut down my collection by half to have more space in the house. Now, I just have to stop myself from going to Barnes and Nobles, Books and Books, and hitting the “Proceed to Checkout” button on Amazon.com.
So, this was my summer vacation. I guess this is how my students must feel when I tell them to write an essay on what they did during the summer. I’m such a nerd! I completed my very own assignment. LOL.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Another encounter with a frog...
Yes, everyone, I had another encounter with a frog when I got home last night. My first encounter with a frog left me sitting in my car for an hour waiting for my superhero fiance to come home and save the day. But this time I had no choice but to fend for myself - the self-proclaimed independent woman. (ROAR!) But how can a self-proclaimed independent woman be scared of a big frog? OK, it wasn't that big, but big enough. I claim to be independent, in need of no man for assistance, but what happen to my proclamation when it was woman vs. nature? Does this mean that I'm not as independent as I thought? I can manage to teach 180 students, complete meaningful and intriguing lesson plans, do the wifely duties as my mother says, and take the garbage out, but I can't handle a frog? Is there a fine line between independent woman and damsel in distress?
At first, I found it difficult to accept the assistance of my fiance when we moved in together. I manage my day-to-day life like I normally did when I was single. I would grab what was easiest to drink and eat for breakfast, and would grab some lunch at the school cafeteria, which has a really good tuna fish sandwich. When he noticed how limited my time was in the morning, he made it a point to make me breakfast and pack me a lunch. He would help when it came to housework, however, laundry was off-limits because I find it therapeutic. We would alternate cooking days, and if I was too busy, he would take me out to eat. Nevertheless, I was the ferociously independent woman!
Now, I question how independent I am when a frog prevents me from entering my home, forcing me to wait for my superhero to come to my rescue. I recognize that at times my claim of independence shows my stubbornness to ask for help. I am learning to ask for help, which I'm getting better at, and appreciating everything my fiance does to help his independent woman. I just hope that there isn't a frog at my front door when I get home tonight.
At first, I found it difficult to accept the assistance of my fiance when we moved in together. I manage my day-to-day life like I normally did when I was single. I would grab what was easiest to drink and eat for breakfast, and would grab some lunch at the school cafeteria, which has a really good tuna fish sandwich. When he noticed how limited my time was in the morning, he made it a point to make me breakfast and pack me a lunch. He would help when it came to housework, however, laundry was off-limits because I find it therapeutic. We would alternate cooking days, and if I was too busy, he would take me out to eat. Nevertheless, I was the ferociously independent woman!
Now, I question how independent I am when a frog prevents me from entering my home, forcing me to wait for my superhero to come to my rescue. I recognize that at times my claim of independence shows my stubbornness to ask for help. I am learning to ask for help, which I'm getting better at, and appreciating everything my fiance does to help his independent woman. I just hope that there isn't a frog at my front door when I get home tonight.
Friday, May 26, 2006
As the school year comes to an end, I am left with elation and relief that I've made it through another year as a teacher, and sadness that another student lost their life because of their actions. As a teacher, I try to show students that they are not invisible and there are repercussions for the choices made. I thought I was home free today with only 8 hours to end the school year, when I received news that a student lost their life in a terrible car accident, so terrible that the make of the car was indistinguishable. Not only did he lose his life, but his younger sister who rode in the car with him, was hurt as well. And it was all about choices. He could have used better judgment: wearing his seatbelt; not driving so fast; getting home earlier, etc. Nevertheless, there is no use in living in what he should have done since this tragedy is final. This is just another reminder that tomorrow is not promised, prompting me to practice what I preach. Carpe diem!
r.i.p. tj
Until next time,
Tenny
r.i.p. tj
Until next time,
Tenny
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